with « bang with your friends »?
What is it?
Social networks are part of our everyday activities in today’s world. There are a number of ways we can meet new people, find a lover, go on dates or even find someone to have sex with. Another one of these came out lately and it is called ‘‘Bang with your friends ». This tool allows you to secretly choose which of your friends on Facebook you would like to have sex with. If you end up with a match, then you are both advised of your sexual desire towards each other and it’s up to you to choose to go through with it or not. How good or how bad of an idea is this new social (sexual) network tool?
Why use it?
The first thing that can come to mind is that this is a great tool for people who are too shy to seduce some of their friends out of fear of rejection and potentially losing the friendship. It also allows fuelling our curiosity by finally confirming who secretly fantasizes about us in our social circle. Have you ever had doubts about someone wanting you sexually, but were never able to actually confirm your suspicions? Well, now you can with this tool. What could potentially go wrong with two consenting adults who have mutual sexual desire for each and end up finding out with »Bang with your friends »? Is it really different than having a one-night stand with a complete stranger we picked up at a bar. Some would even consider it better since you at least have some history with this person. Who knows, it might actually blossom into a full-blown romantic relationship.
What you need to consider before using it?
Advantages aside, what are the underlying complications and considerations of using such a service? First off, you’re inevitably changing the dynamic of the relationship from friendship to friends with benefits, commonly know as »fuck friends ». Sharing a sexual experience with someone requires some form of intimacy that was not present in the previous dynamic. When you add sex to the mix, you’re getting to know your friend in a whole different way. Sexuality is for most people where their insecurities come out the most. Our sense of femininity and masculinity, body image, sexual performance, emotions, love, sexual fantasies, and much more all come into play when you literally and figuratively get naked with someone.
There are many elements that need to be thought about when using this new service, that is so readily accessible. It’s important to think about the reasons your using it. Are you looking for someone you just want to have sex with or a long-term relationship with a friend? How will this change the relationship? What is the other person looking for? How will each of you react when one of you gets another partner? How do you terminate this relationship and go back to being friends?
On another note, what drives people to use this service rather than trying their chances by sexually seducing the people they desire? Besides the fact that this is done behind closed doors and if the person doesn’t share the same sexual desire you don’t have to feel the rejection. But then again, you still get to feel it, because you didn’t get a match. Therefore, you suffer in silence and you get to avoid the embarrassment. What do you do, if you do get a positive response, but you don’t necessarily have the guts to actually go forward with it anymore?
Short term vs. long term
Such as it was stated earlier, this is great tool for people who have a hard time seducing, because they don’t need to go through it all with this service. Then again, is it really helping them in the long run? If someone has a hard time with the risks that flirting always entails, how will they ever learn to cope with real time rejection, which no one can avoid in the dating scene.
»Bang with your friends » has some advantages, but it also has its inconveniences that are more long term. Taking the time to reflect on the use of such a tool is a must before you start changing some of your friendship dynamics.
Francois Renaud M.A.